I was that guy in grade school that was always just a little too good at math. Like... better-than-the-teacher good at math. I admit, it does help that she was a bit on the stupid side, but what do you expect from a catholic grade school in a depressed neighborhood in 1975 middle america? It was a job to her, and she did okay. But I can assure you she didn't have a degree in math.
I really did enjoy drawing at that age, and I was fairly good at it. And most of my teachers up until that point never did mind that I was drawing all the time, because I did fine in all my other subjects. But on this particular day, me and that witch with the short dark hair butted heads. I vaguely remember that she walked over to my desk, and I'm nearly certain she influenced her shadow to make that oh-so-dramatic entrance over my paper, littered with no. 2 lead. Her longer than normal index finger made two quick taps on my drawing as her voice accompanied in rhythm "What's that... put it away". Of course, all 44" of my hooligan frame was not about to just put it away. After all, she couldn't just say something like that in front of the whole class and expect that I would just jump. Who was I? Her whipped husband?
So, I did the next best thing that any 5th grader would do... "Why, I already know this stuff better than you."
Steam rolled from her head like a pipe that just burst... her face turned colors that weren't human, and her eyes quivered and her lips trembled as she fought to not hit me. She inhaled deep... and tried her best to be stern with me as she said "I want you to add the numbers... 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6... " at this point, she opened her eyes widely, and raised her jaw, to make sure she drew the exact reaction she was looking for from the rest of the class "all the way to 100. Add them up. Now.... go!" The whole class Oooohhhed and heads turned quickly, everyone looking at one another, verifying that she did indeed just say the "H" word.
Before the hush that had just been laid over the room became quiet again, I looked at my drawing and without missing a stroke of the ol' no. 2, I blurted out "It's 5050."
"No, I want you to add them up! Not guess." she yelled back, not realizing that I was serious.
"I just did" I replied.
Now at this point, I have to tell you that I probably wouldn't have been able to do this the way I did had it not been for a trip to the bowling alley just a few weeks earlier. My sister, a fellow math nerd, had mentioned that she had noticed that a rack of pins in consisted of four rows. 1, 2, 3, and 4 pins in each. 1 + 4 is 5, as is 2 + 3. 2 X 5 is ten. Then she showed that it works for all numbers... if their were seven row, there would be 3 combinations of 8 (1 & 7, 2 & 6, 3 & 5) plus the remaining 4. 3 X 8 is 24, plus 4 is 28. That made perfect sense to both of us. It runs in the family... numbers just make sense to us. Even to this day.
Now back to Mrs. Morgan...
She looked at me for a second, and I continued to explain in a how-could-you-be-so-stupid tone... "1+100 is 101 so is 2 and 99, 3 and 98... all the way up to 50 and 51. 50 times 100 is 5000, 50 times one is 50... answer... 5050"
I went back to drawing... probably a pickup truck or a horse... those were my two favorite subjects in that era.
She did eventually acknowledge that I was right, but she wasn't happy with me, I do remember that well.
And for some reason... I'm pretty certain she's still not any good at math.
No comments:
Post a Comment